What Will They Say

After we drop nuclear bombs on Iran the next World War will begin. The result is going to be the economic and de facto destruction of the Constitutional Republic called the United States of America, but not until we the current American people have been complicit in the murder and displacement of millions of innocent people just like in Iraq. What is the world going to say about us when they look back on our generation?

1. Chinese - Those a**holes still owe us money.
2. Russian - Now who won the Cold War b*tch.
3. Iranian Mullahs - Allah Akbar a**holes.
4. French - We put some freedom fries on your grave, after we spit on them.
5. House of Saud - Thank you Prince W.
6. Iraq Sunnis - Good riddance a**holes.
7. Iraq Shiites - Good riddance a**holes.
8. Iraq Kurds - Great, our new Kurdish homeland is radioactive, and now we have to deal with the Turks. Those Turks are a**holes just ask the Armenians.
9. Vietnamese - Some people never learn, especially if they're Imperialist a**holes.
10. Pakistani - Did those a**holes really think we'd stand by and watch the crusaders nuke Muslim nations?
11. Germans - Finally we're no longer #1 in crimes committed against humanity.
12. Christians - We would've won, but God was mad because of all the homosexuals sticking their d*cks into a**holes.

BREAKING: Watch for a helicopter/plane crash or assassination causing the death of Nouri al Maliki. Will they be able to frame Iran? Stay tuned.

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Thy Svrge Beest VVorking

Special Guest Blogger: Pope Innocent III

As sure as the blessed Lord makes the Sun revolve around the Earth we must stay the course in our war against the Muslim heretics infidels. If we were to leave the land of Babylon, surely the Caliphate would begin to emerge again and the Devil's minions will follow us home.

What is at stake is our very souls. This is a battle of good versus evil, this is the eternal battle, the battle for civilization. The Lord God Almighty wishes us to destroy evil through any means possible. Thus our ways are blessed by God no matter what they are. Our Lord is so powerful it is only the lack of faith by the people and the soldiers can cause defeat, for no one can defeat the Lord God. A way has been revealed unto me to remove the wheat from the chaff amongst the occupied populace of the land of Babylon. It is a simple procedure.

As all people of faith know the Lord takes care of His own. I propose a test. The soul that has been captured by Satan is heavy, weighted down with sin and attracted to the underworld where it will go for all eternity. The soul that belongs to the Lord God is filled with light and is attracted to the heavens likewise. Each member of the populace should be tested by water. Bound to a chair the tested subject shall be dunked beneath the water.(see A1) If the soul belongs to the Almighty it will float up and be released, but if the subject is amongst the damned the power of Satan will be no match for the test and the subject shall sink and drown(see A2). Thus we shall rid this world of evil.

Amen.

Approved Edits from Office of the Vice President
A1 should read: Iran will be tested with "tactical" nuclear strikes.
A2 should read: burn for all eternity in hell with the liberals.

This sounds oddly familiar.
The plan is already in motion folks. It's just closing the sale now.
Is anyone going to stop them?

To All the Haters

Dear MC Rove,
With your upcoming resignation does this signal that the long national nightmare is almost over?
-Hillary on the shore in New York

HOSinNY,
If you mean the end of the neo-con Imperialist domination of the Federal government I have two words for you: Lieberman and Iran. If you mean the outright owning of the Federal government by Multi-National Corporations then you haven't been following the money (into your coffers). Otherwise I think there is no nightmare, it could just be your hormones.

Mr. Rove,
Do you think you'll ever have a moment like Lee Atwater did when he was on his death bed and voiced his regret for getting the already mentally gone Raygun elected a second time through dirty tricks?
-Bill from Dallas

BFD,
No, I'm an agnostic. Life ends, and there's no reason to apologize. I was good at my job and my job was getting dumbass Christians to vote for Corporately-owned Republicans. I used their ingrained bigotry and money handouts to churches to sway them. So what, those idiot Christians get what they deserve. Those stupid jackasses are all marks, I just beat the Dums, er, Dems to them.
I'm a practicing Episcopalian, praise Jesus. Every morning I read a devotional, I'm in good with the big guy above so I'll never need to have a "Lee Atwater moment".
Do what thou wilt is the whole of the law.

Karl,
Do you think you might ever get back into politics, say as a campaign manager or adviser for a potential candidate on the Republican side for the Presidency? I'll do a pole dance for you.
-Freddy's Trophy Wife

FTW,
It's a distinct possibility. A candidate who was very telegenic and well connected with the big money from lobbyists just might tempt me back in. You know it's all about the dinars.

Rovinator,
Remember when you got all those folks to believe I was a cowboy? That was awesome.
-Bikes in the Crawford House

BitCH,
I know dog, just remember what we talked about, you know the P to the A to the R to the D-O-N. I got your back, just keep saying "executive priveledge".

You liberals can all kiss my lily white ass. And watch for my book coming out close to the next Presidential election. Rove Out.

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Ignorance and Spilled Blood

LOOKS LIKE IT'S ALREADY IN MOTION.
Could this be one of the reasons?

One Percenters Will Win the Class War!!

In the ongoing effort to help justify the beliefs and lives of all the good Christian Republicans, Reverend Felps has picked out a number of choice biblical quotes he has translated himself from the original Greek for your consideration. The esteemed Reverend is currently working on a new and correct translation of the Holy Bible, which will be called the New Holy American Bible. Have faith my fellow true believers that with God on our side we, the top 1% on the economic ladder (otherwise known as the God blessed), will continue to win the class war. Amen.

Top ten Bible quotes from the New Holy American Bible:
1. "It's easier for a rich man to get into heaven." Matthew 19
2. "Love the things of this world, and be sure to obey those in power." I John 2
3. "The love of money is the root of Capitalism, and Capitalism is exactly what Jesus wants." I Timothy 6
4. "You can serve God and mammon, because mammon is God, so it's not really two masters." Matthew 6
5. "The rich man will never fade away as long as he can afford the best healthcare money can buy." James 1
6. "He who trusts in his riches will live off of dividend payments if he votes Republican." Proverbs 11
7. "The righteous are suckers, F the poor." Proverbs 11
8. "Where your treasure is, there also is your heart, have you seen the new iPhone, there goeth the cool." Luke 12
9. "If you wish to be complete take as much money as you can from the poor and buy yourself a Hummer." Matthew 19
10. "This world is passing away so enjoy all the lusts you can afford to buy while it's still here." I John 2

Every word is God breathed and true, God Surely Blesses you America.

Please continue to conduct all business as usual.

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Get Individual Forgiveness Here!!

Corporate Jesus T-Shirt and Mini Button!!

*Riches currently only for Corporations