Thy Svrge Beest VVorking

Special Guest Blogger: Pope Innocent III

As sure as the blessed Lord makes the Sun revolve around the Earth we must stay the course in our war against the Muslim heretics infidels. If we were to leave the land of Babylon, surely the Caliphate would begin to emerge again and the Devil's minions will follow us home.

What is at stake is our very souls. This is a battle of good versus evil, this is the eternal battle, the battle for civilization. The Lord God Almighty wishes us to destroy evil through any means possible. Thus our ways are blessed by God no matter what they are. Our Lord is so powerful it is only the lack of faith by the people and the soldiers can cause defeat, for no one can defeat the Lord God. A way has been revealed unto me to remove the wheat from the chaff amongst the occupied populace of the land of Babylon. It is a simple procedure.

As all people of faith know the Lord takes care of His own. I propose a test. The soul that has been captured by Satan is heavy, weighted down with sin and attracted to the underworld where it will go for all eternity. The soul that belongs to the Lord God is filled with light and is attracted to the heavens likewise. Each member of the populace should be tested by water. Bound to a chair the tested subject shall be dunked beneath the water.(see A1) If the soul belongs to the Almighty it will float up and be released, but if the subject is amongst the damned the power of Satan will be no match for the test and the subject shall sink and drown(see A2). Thus we shall rid this world of evil.

Amen.

Approved Edits from Office of the Vice President
A1 should read: Iran will be tested with "tactical" nuclear strikes.
A2 should read: burn for all eternity in hell with the liberals.

This sounds oddly familiar.
The plan is already in motion folks. It's just closing the sale now.
Is anyone going to stop them?