Takin' Care of Business

Now that the Polar Bears and their nefarious co-conspirators, the Penguins and Mother Nature, have struck the homeland with massive fires in California, President Gunhead responds the best way he knows...

Proof of the Polar Bear/Penguin Axis

This disgusting image was smuggled out of Abu Bear Prison by one very brave Seal. Our most recent greatest fear has been realized. The penguins and polar bears have formed an alliance. Now we have reason to fear that all of the arctic will fall like dominoes to this axis of evil. What of the walruses and seals? Do they not long for the freedom of markets to self-regulate like all God loving creatures?

We will destroy these evil arctic blasphemers and our goodness will warm the entire planet!

Please continue to conduct all business as usual.

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The Most Dangerous Bear in the World!

Rumors abound that Bearsama and Bear-del Castro will proclaim solidarity!
Top secret intel reports have concluded, in their summary paragraphs, that penguins and polar bears are plotting together and committing atrocities.

Can an assassination attempt be far behind? LSD laden cigars?
Pre-emptive Arctic Strikes? An invasion of the Bay of Seals?

We must protect Corporations from extinction!

Please continue to conduct all business as usual.

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Corporate Jesus T-Shirt and Mini Button!!

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We Will Defeat the Polar Bears

"It is your duty as an American citizen to continue shopping and consuming resources at the fastest possible rate your credit debt limit will allow. If we don't the Polar Bears will win. Victory is achievable through genocide. Just like in Iraq." - General Smokestack

Please continue to conduct all business as usual.

Get Riches* Here!!

Get Corporate Forgiveness Here!!

Get Individual Forgiveness Here!!

Corporate Jesus T-Shirt and Mini Button!!

*Riches currently only for Corporations