Proof That Corporations Care
Freedom is changing. We must keep it up with the times. In order to spread freedom around the world more effectively, those in power will be making a couple of changes. We don't want Iran to go like Iraq, even though the money just keeps rolling in. Soon we will be replacing "freedom of speech" with the "freedom to agree", and the "freedom to pursue happiness" will now be the "freedom to purchase happiness". You now also have the "freedom to want", the "freedom to be afraid", and the "freedom to be white". A couple of other redefinitions: Islam is now Fascism. Christianity is now Science. Indifference is Caring. Ignorance is Wisdom. Failure is Success. Rasicm is Patriotism. Science is Superstition. Fascism is Democracy. Freedom is Obedience. We know we can count on your silent compliance America, and don't worry we'll reward you and your children with what you deserve.
Please continue to conduct all business as usual.
*Riches currently only for Corporations