Corporate Jesus: June 2006

Friday, June 30, 2006

Nobody Voted for the Supreme Court

Corporate Jesus believes we should allow the free markets to dictate how much power the Executive branch is entitled to. In order to protect America, the world, our human civilization, large multi-national Corporations and God's great universe itself from the threat of the poor, un-Christian brown masses and their socialistic ideals, the Executive should be able to use the latest tools our superior technology and overt blessing from God has placed at his disposal. If he has to stuff a tube up your nose in order to force feed you so that he can deflect public scrutiny due to some medical emergency or death, it is of little consequence to the great machinations that drive the economy. Without a healthy economy based on free market capitalism there would be no civilization, and without a civilization there would be no Supreme Court, therefore whatever the courts decide must not interfere with the Executive's ability to protect our way of life or else we could lose everything including the Supreme Court and it's recent decision.

Let's not lose sight of the most important thing. Corporations are making record profits, and CEO compensation is on average 450 times greater than that of the average worker. Some Executive branch accomplishments (props to Congress too): Bankruptcy Bill, Medicare Drug Bill, rolling back regulations, not enforcing existing regulations, appointing industry officials to oversee regulatory agencies, censoring scientific data that doesn't agree with policy, Clean Air Initiative, Healthy Forest Act, started 2 wars, increased military spending and contracting, defeated minimum wage increase, covertly approving illegal wage workers, and large scale spying on individuals that includes the purchasing of records from Corporations.

What we must remember is that it is only individuals that can become terrorists. There were no Corporations among the 9/11 hijackers!! Therefore it only makes sense that we watch any suspicious activity that threatens Corporate profits or the entrenched power structure. After all, freedom isn't free. Sometimes you have to pay for your freedom with your freedom.

Please continue to conduct all business as usual.

Get Riches* Here!!

Get Corporate Forgiveness Here!!

Get Individual Forgiveness Here!!

Corporate Jesus Shirt and Mini Button!!

*Riches currently only for Corporations

Monday, June 26, 2006

A Mighty Victory for Patriotism

This week the Senate will vote on a Constitutional amendment to ban flag burning. The Supreme Court ruled that such an act was protected under the 1st Amendment in 1989. The wise members of the GOP in the Senate now have enough votes to pass this as an amendment to the Constitution. The amendment was narrowly defeated, ~~in the last election cycle run-up~~ the last time the patriotism of the country was being threatened by peace activists and god™less Bill of Rights literalists, by four votes. The wisdom of the American electorate is on display once again, you see America knows we have too many rights and elected four more GOP members to the Senate in 2004. (Update 6/28/06: Yesterday in the Senate, the flag burning amendment failed to pass, by one vote. This is not a setback, it only means America needs to elect one more patriotic GOP member to the Senate this November.) Check and see who voted for it HERE. Can you find all 14 of the Democrat Senators that are patriots too?

How can we export American freedom quickly if there are too many freedoms or rights to support and perpetuate? Think of the time saved by exporting less rights to the countries we free. In Iraq, for example, no elections would be needed, no individual privacy or ownership rights to be protected, no freedom of religion, only getting rid of the corrupt socialist regime and putting up a powerful leader who believes in free market capitalism and is friendly to Corporate interests would be needed. That's where we need to go, and this is only the beginning.

Corporate Jesus believes we should continue to take rights away from individuals and give them to Corporations. Naturally, wealthy individuals would still be able to afford their rights, as they will be able to donate large sums of money to GOP politicians who will protect them, they also will be able to afford to hire good lawyers and as a matter of last resort they can take their yachts out into international waters or take their private jet into international airspace. In fact, rights for individuals are an archaic remnant of the old paradigm, in this post-9/11 world everything has changed™ and it is high time we got around to changing the Constitution. Remember there were no Corporations among the 9/11 hijackers, only individuals!!

Please continue to conduct all business as usual.

Get Riches* here!!

Get Corporate Forgiveness Here!!

Get Individual Forgiveness Here!!

Corporate Jesus Shirt and Mini Button!!

*Riches currently only for Corporations

Monday, June 19, 2006

Mistakes Were Made, Time to Move Forward

With all that has happened in the last month it's good to know that the heart of the American people is big enough to forgive people who come out and confess publically on television. Corporate Jesus has looked into the eyes/soul of the American people and He has seen its heart. With much humility Corporate Jesus would like to thank the American people for just doing what they've been doing. Keep it up!!

Please continue to conduct all business as usual.

Get Riches* here!!

Get Corporate Forgiveness Here!!

Get Individual Forgiveness Here!!

Corporate Jesus Shirt and Mini Button!!

*Riches currently only for Corporations

Monday, June 12, 2006

Once You Go Bunny...

If you're not out shopping for Corporate goods, the ~~communists~~ terrorists have won!!
If you're not watching the television, the ~~communists~~ terrorists have won!!
If you're walking or taking public transportation, the ~~communists~~ terrorists have won!!
If you don't believe America has the God given right to ~~oppress and enslave~~ bring freedom to populations in foreign countries around the world and ~~overthrow democratically elected leaders of foreign countries and prop up dictators that do the bidding of multinational Corporations in the name of enriching the rich, powerful, and corrupt~~ spread Free Market Capitalism, the ~~communists~~ terrorists have won!!
If you're questioning the authority of the powers that be to do as they will, the ~~communists~~ terrorists have won!!
If the GOP loses control of the House and Senate, the ~~communists~~ terrorists have won!!
If government officials are held accountable for criminal activity and punished, the ~~communists~~ terrorists have won!!