Corporate Jesus

The Jesus America Worships/America's Jesus

Monday, December 31, 2007

'07 Highlights

Freedom Brand Toilet Paper

George's new TP.


Extinction Quiz

I'm guessing it'll be the fungus.


Abu Bear

The reason we must destroy the arctic.


General Smokestack

The sweet smell of victory.


Please continue to conduct all business as usual.

Get Riches* Here!!

Get Corporate Forgiveness Here!!

Get Individual Forgiveness Here!!

Corporate Jesus T-Shirt and Mini Button!!


*Riches currently only for Corporations

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Happy Birthday to Me!

Corporate Jesus

Corporate Holiday blessings to you all!



Please continue to conduct all business as usual.

Get Riches* Here!!

Get Corporate Forgiveness Here!!

Get Individual Forgiveness Here!!

Corporate Jesus T-Shirt and Mini Button!!


*Riches currently only for Corporations

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Prince Answers Your Questions

Mediavelli

Greetings lowly pee-ons and serfs. Prince Mediavelli is ready for your questions.



Your Highness,
Is it true that God chooses who gets rich and powerful based on how much better and worthy a person they are so "we the people" should just silently accept it and follow the wise and God blessed orders of the chosen?
- Dana P., Washington D.C.

Yes, and what's more is you should never believe your own eyes or ears, especially when the things you see and hear coming from the television or the executive branch of the government are exactly the opposite.


Your Lordship,
People who follow your orders will be rewarded both in this life and the next right?
-Kevin M., Washington D.C.

Yes Kevin, those who do my bidding will be rewarded with well paid executive positions in one of my Corporations after they are forced to resign from their politically appointed positions in government agencies that rule favorably for me and my Corporation while selling out the interests of "the people".


Mediavelli,
Do you think Thomas Jefferson was right when he said, "If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, it expects what never was and never will be."
-Ben F., Philadelphia

I doubt that if you ask 10 Americans who Thomas Jefferson is that 8 will know. In this country ignorance is freedom.


Master,
With your every increasing grip on the electronic broadcast media and newspapers I hope you won't pull back on creating more great shows that help to distract me from the emptiness of my Corporately designed life and continue to commodify all of my free time. Sometimes I feel really scared when I have to think, and then I'm so glad I have Evangelical Christianity and cable TV to count on so I can pretend my life has meaning and then not think about it. Bless you for your service to mankind.
-Kevin M., Washington D.C.

Do what you are told and you'll get the job. Ass kisser. Who do you think I am Donald Trump?


King of All Media,
Why do people read books? Books are so boring because I can't concentrate on anything that requires more than a two minute attention span. Sometimes I just like to turn on the TV and radio while I surf the internet looking for porn, is there any way books could be more like that? Especially science books, or books by Al Gore. I like the Bible because I don't ever have to read it, my televangelist friends tell me what it says and how to get rich.
-Peter H., Kansas

Books are just part of a liberal plot to make good Bible loving patriots from the heartland feel inferior. Nobody really reads books anymore, but when the cost of gas to heat your house becomes too expensive you can use them for heat so keep some around to burn.


Dear Mediavelli,
Do you think a politician running for national office can take a large amount of money from a Corporation and then be trusted to hold the interests of the citizens the politician represents over the interests of that Corporation?
-Hillary C., New York

No.



Now I tire of this, it's time for my gold dust and baby's blood bath.



Please continue to conduct all business as usual.

Get Riches* Here!!

Get Corporate Forgiveness Here!!

Get Individual Forgiveness Here!!

Corporate Jesus T-Shirt and Mini Button!!


*Riches currently only for Corporations