Pre-emptive Polar Strike Needed!!
Partial transcript of translated message from Bearsama Bear:
...American Imperialist Fascists, your exploitation of the riches of the earth is causing the deaths of my brothers and the destruction of our traditional lands. For what I ask would you destroy the very cradle of life? Capital? Money and commerce? Idiot leaders and religious confidence men? You will not be able to eat your money when the earth becomes barren and the seas overtake your cities. Woe unto you and your kin.
Even your own scientists have revealed that your behaviors already will cause the extinction of me and my kind in the short span of 23 years yet you persist unabated. We have watched you soil the skies for more than a century. It is for this reason that I, Bearsama Bear, am issuing all Americans a dire warning. We, the Polar Bears of the Arctic have called upon the great mother Earth to vengefully visit destruction upon you and your children in our name. If you do not change your ways immediately the destruction of all humanity will be your own doing. Already we know we are lost, we are the last generation of Polar Bears to see the ice, the last to live off the land and grow old, but we take comfort in the knowledge your time will come soon too...
Please continue to conduct all business as usual.
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posted by Corporate Jesus @ 10:11 AM
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