Corporate Jesus

The Jesus America Worships/America's Jesus

Monday, May 21, 2007

A Message From the Mothership

mothership

Dear Humanity,
Thanks for your interest in becoming a member of The Planetary Confederation of Intelligent Lifeforms. The governing Council has reviewed your qualifications and determined that although you are able to launch manned and unmanned rockets into orbit and to nearby heavenly bodies they are not interested in granting your species a membership in the Confederation at this time.

Certain members of the Council objected to the decades long pollution of the radiosphere with your insipid television broadcasts, others found your predilection for violence troubling, still others stressed the importance of making sure your species is not allowed to destroy any other planets aside from your own. The most important factor in the decision was the complete lack of actual intelligence demonstrated over and over by your species. Although there have been outstanding individuals that were advanced enough to earn your species the opportunity to be considered for membership in the Galactic community, they have been far and few between and always ignored by those that wield the actual power over the resources of your planet.

Unfortunately our records indicate that your species will be extinct by the time you qualify for another review by the Council.

Sincerely,
The Planetary Council of Intelligent Lifeforms
Milky Way Governing Council




Please continue to conduct all business as usual.


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