The Karl Rove Joke Book

Rumored excerpts from the upcoming "Karl Rove Joke Book"

Corporate Jesus can neither confirm nor deny the existence or publishing date of said work.

Q: What's brown and black and looks good on a whistleblower?
A: A doberman.

Q: What do evangelical chiristians that aren't hypocrites and UFO's have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.

Q: Do you know why the evangelical christian got fired from the M&M's factory?
A: He kept sending his kids and the poor to die for the W's.

Q: What do evangelical christians and beer bottles have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: How many evangelical christians does it take to wallpaper a room?
A: Just two if they're sliced thin enough.

Q: What do you call 5000 evangelical christians at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.

Q: How can you tell when an investigative reporter is well hung?
A: When you can just fit your finger in between the noose and his neck.

Q: Why don't cannibals eat televangelists?
A: Because they taste like they're full of shit too.

Q: How do you keep your boss from reading your emails?
A: Put them in a folder marked Reality.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed Congressman?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: How many evangelical christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 100, 99 to pray, 1 to take their money and hire an illegal immigrant to do it on the cheap while keeping the money and taking the credit for talking to Jesus.

Q: What's the best way to force Rush Limbaugh to do sit-ups?
A: Put the remote control, the oxycotin, the viagra, and a Dominican prostitute between his toes.

Q: What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent Bill O'Reilly fan?
A: Big Foot's been spotted a few times.

Q: Why do only 1% of evangelical christians get into Heaven?
A: Because if they all went it would be Hell.

Q: What's the difference between Jack Abramoff and a vampire?
A: Vampires only suck blood at night.

Q: How can you tell when Condoleeza Rice is lying?
A: Her lips are moving.

Q: Why don't parasites attack televangelists?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What do you have when an evangelical christian is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: How do you save thirty drowning Congressional Republicans?
A: Tell lies to the voting public through the main stream media and start a war.

Q: How do you stop the head of the Family Research Council from drowning?
A: Take your foot off his head.

Q: What's the difference between a bucket of shit and Pat Robertson?
A: The bucket.

Q: What should you do if you run over Ralph Reed?
A: Back over him to make sure.

Q: What's the difference between a catfish and Dick Cheney?
A: One's a slimy scum sucking scavenger, the other is a fish.

Q: Why are Republicans so good in bed?
A: Practice...we've been screwing all of you for years.

I have the body of a God ... Buddha!

Rove Out

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