Monday, December 25, 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
An early gift for Christmas
Corporate Jesus would like to thank the FCC today.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Special Guest Blogger: Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Special Guest Blogger: Dr. Schill
"You can put lipstick on a pig, but not if you want bacon!"
Corporate Jesus has an extremely busy schedule during this special time of the year that leads up to his birthday, so he asked me if I might take a crack at writing a special piece for his blog this week. I figured what the hay, you know you can take a horse to water and make it drink if you bomb it long enough!
This time of year is indeed the most wonderful time of the year, especially for large corporate retailers, but one thing that can help guarantee your satisfaction with your gifts this year is to temper your expectations. There is a special 3% of the population that probably will get everything they want for Christmas this year, but for the other 97% a good attitude can make the difference between a simply disappointing day and a violent drunken incident.
I've included this helpful chart to prepare you for the possible differences in what you wanted and what you got: (scroll down, and don't update to Blogger Beta, it's jacked up!!)
|Luxury Sedan||sweater from Target|
|80GB iPod Video||Zune MP3 player|
|Gibson Les Paul||Gibson guitar calender|
|Spinning Rims||Anaconda DVD|
|42" Plasma TV||AM/FM clock radio|
|Playstation 3||Checkers/Chess boardgame|
|Middle East Democracy||Shiite superstate|
|Universal Healthcare||Health Industry/Pharma writes its own rules|
|Peace||more war for oil|
|Politicians that represent the people||Dems owned by corporations too|
|Economic Fairness||rich get richer|
|Address Global warming||too late|
|Better education||Intelligent design|
|Sensible Drug Laws||Largest prison population on earth|
|New Energy Solutions||see Peace|
Remember Debt is Love. Spend money on Corporate goods.
Please continue to conduct all business as usual. Happy Holidays!
*Riches currently only for Corporations